Great. Now i am single. But why do i feel wierd all of a sudden?

i never knew breakups could be so bad. what the hell. i swear by gawnfu. fuck.

i cant believe i was so stupid not to know that things were happening around me. i cant believe i was so dumb not to notice changes in your behaviour. or maybe i did notice, but somehow, subconciously, it didnt hit as hard. i really feel lost. friends? we will still be friends? fuck no. you have no idea how much u hurt me, and now u want to be friends? waiting for u, trying to be understanding and not disturb u even when i am really in need of your company, listening to what my friends say, "don't fuck her up now, let her study.." all for what? this bullshit? argh fuck it. relationship ends today. 27th November 2003. After 1 year 11mths 18days. now i am free.

I-SWEAR-BY-GAWNFU

fuck this BS.

FUCK OFF

all around me, i see people taking advantage of me. they think that just because i have been trying to be accomodating, they have the right to walk all over me. all i have to say is, FUCK YOU. especially those who barely know me for 2 fucking years. yes you. those who do know me, don't even have the slightest thought that this post might not be about you. you jolly well know me, and yet you still do all this shit. fuck you even more.

you have no right to do shit to me. you have no right to say anything about me because YOU are no much better. call me fucked up or call me calculative. you are no better.

stay the fuck away from me.

fuck this.

omfg. check this pic out...



i found this on friendster... -__-

fuck. i am feeling so fucking listless. and i just woke up. -_-

bloody hell. yesterday at Raffles MRT was fucked up. don't get me wrong, the crowd was wonderful, equipment was wonderful, green was not bad, so was julz, weiliang and mervyn. so that leaves me. i cant believe i performed so bad yesterday. parts i wasnt supposed to play, i played. parts i was supposed to play? i was dancing. omigosh. i feel like i let down all those people who were there bearing the hot sun (fucking sun) just to watch us play. fuck i feel shitty.

apologies to all those who were there.. i WILL do better next time

now i'm not sure if i want to go to potong pasir to buy cigs or not. but i'm so fucking lazy, and my chair feels soo comfy, i could just lie here and go slee........

ciao.

(edited to remove stuff..)

I love the cap u bought me! seriously!

and the earrings for my girlfriend are nice too, she'll like it i'm sure.

guess what? julz bought me a cap! lol, damn need it man lol. if i weren't so stoned and i had a digi-cam i woulda took a picture and posted it here. sad.

sleep.

Sunlight glistened off her body, making the highlights on her hair shimmer, not unlike the many facets of a rainbow. Her body was arched back in a perfect pose, with the wind blowing in her face, making wisps of her hair frolick in the imaginary waves of wind. "Who is this girl? I don't remember seeing her in secondary school." i thought, mystified, as rays of light cast shadows which danced upon her body, furthur complimenting her sultry, seductive look.


that was the first paragraph of my composition today. how? i think its nice.. :) english today was okay, composition was good; i finished it with at least 15mins to spare.paper 2 i'm not so confident. although i did it quite fast.

wow, maths was simple. i was surprised at the simplicity of the paper, although i wont get my hopes up if i were u.. my physics sucked! goddamn, i only knew 4-5 questions and 30mins into the 1hr 15min paper, i was done. i feel damn sad. lucky it was only the physics paper.. oh well, now banking on my chemistry to at least get myself a pass for science..

i miss my girlfriend..

rain. the weather makes me feel like sleeping.

ever wondered what you would be like when u grow up? like maybe in 10 years or so, what would u look like, what would u be doing, who will still matter to you, and the like? even better, ever wondered what your friends would be doing? whether u guys would still be friends..

i dont know, these few days have been really hectic for me. yesterday was an audition for a gig in Dec, which, in my opinion, we did really well for, although the rest of the band members dont agree. came back really tired, slept early, and woke up in the morning. which is a bad thing since i usually just rot in the morning.

anyway, back on topic.

for me, i guess i would be on a job in the music industry. some of u might say "duh" and others might disagree, but then again, its what i think. as to whether my friends would be as close to me as now, i definitely hope that we would never drift apart, cuz they mean the world to me, have done lost of shit for me, and basically have been through alot with me. and it would break my heart to leave them.

what is this, getting emotional. i'm not high btw. just stoned. lol

bah. i shall go take a nap, and i'll leave you guys with the lyrics to this song..

sometimes i,
need to remember just to breathe
sometimes i,
need you to stay away from me

sometimes i
in disbelieve i didnt know
somehow i
need you to go..

don't stay
forget our memories
forget our possibilities
what you are changing me into
just give me myself back again!

don't stay
forget our memories
forget our possibilities
take all your faithlessness with you
just give me myself back again!

linkin park - don't stay

just finished having a "chat" with my mom. it seems that she's still sore about the incident with my grandma's funeral. i dont know man. some people will ask me, how come i am always so happy and cheerful all the time. even if i get a little down, all it takes to cheer me up is some stupid fucker like julius doing something stupid like pulling his pants up to chest level.

i guess my answer to that is, i do fight my own demons too. its just that i dont like to show that i do. to me, my friends are my sorta "escape", therefore, it wouldnt make sense to bring my problems into my "escape" as well right?

people tell me, you are so lucky to be "paid" to study. let me clarify this, i dont get paid to study. its my allowance. my mom just decided one day that my allowance will be sort of a "reward" for me studying, therefore i need to study to get my cash.

anyways, i gotta get ready to go meet julz and weiliar so, blog later..

sucks to be me.

ciao.